Humility--a sonnet
February 23rd 2009 01:08
When I went out to shed my dismal mood
Despite the driving snow that made my vision blurred,
I saw a smear of dark within the white, a bird
That picked among the mounds for bits of food.
Within this blinding storm it seemed absurd
That any creature sought its supper in the cold--
Indeed, that any could withstand the uncontrolled--
By frost: with seed in hand, so kind and bold,
I slowly stretched my arm out far so it could feed.
But then it spread its shining golden wings--no need
For charity--and soared to heights untold.
So flap your wings, you pretty bird, and fly away
To lands of ample seed; I, without your wings, will stay.
I wrote this sonnet based on an experience I had during winter break around Christmas-time. Like my writing professors keep saying, "write what you know." And I try to do that as often as possible.
I just made up this sonnet form, sort of combining the interlocking rhyme scheme of the Spenserian (ababbcbccdcdee) with the closed structure of the Petrarchan (abbaabbacdccdc). I'm sure other poets have written this style before, but if they have, I haven't read them--or at least I don't remember them. I really like both the Spenserian and the Petrarchan's structures, so I figured why not combine the best of both worlds?
Although I deviated from the standard, I still made sure it was tightly structured. Each quatrain started with one line of iambic pentameter, then 2 lines of iambic hexameter, then another line of pentameter. I.E. 1 10-syllable line, 2 12-syllable lines, then a 10-syllable line again. Short,long,long,short,short,l ong,long,short, etc. The ending couplet's first line is hexameter, the last is 13 syllables. I did it on purpose, since I wanted the last line to be sort of ponderous with the semicolon and the commas.
Speaking of commas, the syntax of the poem is never grammatically incorrect. I try, in all my poetry, to retain syntax and coherence, rather than sacrificing those things just for the sake of rhyme. Sometime soon I will start discussing grammar in poetry. What place does grammar have in poetry? Does poetry have to conform to grammatical rules? Even if someone says "no," there are so many "rules" of grammar that lend the language to extreme flexiblity that even if you think a poem is "grammatically incorrect" it probably is "correct."
Part of the challenge of writing poetry--at least coherent, knowable poetry--is how to utilize the language and its rules--especially punctuation--to bring meaning and robust life to your poetry. I'll talk at more length about punctuation in poetry and the controversies surrounding the subject at a later time.
I hope you all enjoyed the poem, and if anyone has any comments about it or anything else I said, feel free to chime in. I love a good dialogue! Have a good night everyone!
| 58 |
| Vote |
Add Comments
Read More
Comments (2)
